Stranger than fiction, there's a restaurant called E.U. in my East Village neighborhood that is just unable to stay open. And I swear it's my fault, if you believe in causality. Maybe my girlfriend's. You see, every time we have gone to eat at EU (three times now), they close within 48 hours, only to re-open, still the same visually, but palpably weakened in terms of karma. My study:

Closure the first: After a long, contentious, crazy battle to open, E.U., the European Union, finally started serving in April 2006. Mind you, when we moved to the E.Vil, we had our eyes on EU as a perfect addition to the neighborhood. Yes, my girlfriend and I are hipster gentrifiers. I'm sorry, we'd rather be crunchy, long-time residents, but that wasn't in the cards. We like the East Village for what it once was, not what it is now, but our chances at scoring some $500 a month 3 bedroom suite pretty much went out the window when we weren't born in time to take advantage of living in the drug-ridden, crime infested neighborhood this once was (which may actually be preferrable to the bridge and tunnel infested, street fight, striped shirt douchebaggery carnage inflicted on my neighborhood every weekend night.) 

So, EU opened, after battling like crazy for a liquor license against a community board that stupidly stood idle while a hundred other dumb bars got or renewed their licenses. Yes, the green lantern bar with the awful name (No Malice Palace) on 3rd, which regularly creates a sidewalk queue while the inside of the bar is actually empty, just to drum up some buzz, has a license, but a restaurant serving braised beef cheeks and razor clams does not. Go figure. They opened for three days to give BYO a go, but after they got told they could not operate as BYO, they got closed. But, that one night we got to eat dinner there, the beef cheeks were OUT OF SIGHT.

Closure the second: Brunch. Good burger. Good eggs. Still no booze. They had re-opened in advance of the license, which I gather Giraldi et al. thought was forthcoming. In fact, it was not. Again, le shutter for EU. If the actual EU closed this often, Germany would still be on Weimar currency.

Closure the third: Brunch, again. Good burger (fried egg on top, Aussie style, but I guess Aussies were once Brits, right?) Then comes Eater to tell of the Sunday night meltdown that apparently happened mere hours after the hostess told us we had to sit at a two top right next to another couple because the next table over "had to stay a four." At 1pm. In a restaurant that had six other occupied tables. Out of, like, fifty. Neighborhood brunch place? Uh, if my neighborhood brunch place is empty, you'd think they'd have the courtesy to space out the diners OR just say "anywhere you'd like," when we go to sit down. Perhaps this is why EU advertised for a whole new front house on craigslist.

Finally, according to Eater, a new chef, Akhtar Nawab, the FOURTH attached to this restuarant in less than two years, (Burrell, Ochs, Elliot) has brought some solid experience to the resty, along with hopefully enough of a clue to bully the management for a decent front of the house. And they've re-opened in just four days, the shortest time ever in all the jinxes we've apparently put upon EU by attempting to dine there. I looked forward to seeing what Ned Elliott could do, but now Giraldi and Hennings say he was just a warm body while they went after their man Nawab.

Please, EU, don't give up the good fight just yet. We really want to see what you've got to offer. And may I put a word in for the braised beef cheeks, if Akhtar deigns to serve them?