Hallelujah for Hoots and Hellmouth!

One of the first things I wanted to write about when I made the leap was a little country/bluesy rock and roll band that a friend of mine introduced me to by taking me to see them in a dark, weird basement under a pizzeria in Soho.

When I met them there, I introduced myself as a writer, which is something I did once before, long ago, when I had hardly written anything. After that embarrassing moment, you’d think I’d have learned my lesson, but this time, I had dropped my entire old life and moved to a new city to BE a writer. And even if I wasn’t yet, damnit, I was at least gunning to be one, which was a definite improvement.

So, I talked to this red-haired larger-than-life, lead-singer-of-a-man names Sean, and told him I wanted to write about them. And I desperately wanted to, because they played a kind of music that I felt like I had been missing all my life. So I pitched a story about them relentlessly.

The Boys of Hoots and Hellmouth

And

nothing

happened.

Fast forward two years. I have learned a ton about this business, and it seems Hoots and Hellmouth have learned a ton about theirs, having signed a record deal and released a professionally produced album, which is excellent. The fact that both of us made alot of progress in a relatively short time (which feels extremely long, I’m sure, to both of us), let me finally write a story about them for the New York Press. It was an extremely rewarding story to write, and I hope you’ll take a minute to listen to them, or maybe even buy the CD (also available here).

Congratulations boys! It was an honor to be able to write about you, and your month-long residency at Pete’s Candy Store. I caught their last show there last night, and they sounded and seemed better than ever. Keep spreading the good word.

In Gorgonzola We Trust

The other day I was whisking my own tarragon, mustard seed, lime, mango viniagrette, and as I reached for the aged champagne vinegar, I thought, "what the fuck am I doing?" It turns out David Kamp has my answer. What I, nay, what we, all of us as a country are doing, is classing it up. But why? What's wrong with Wonder Bread and Hellman's? Those are 2 of the 5 ingredients in an kick-ass BLT, the food of the gods and my choice at diners nationwide. David recently asked visitors to his blog what they thought of the title of his book. I was delighted to weigh in, and he was delighted to highlight my delightedness to weigh in. How delightful. 

Want to know what witty title prompted my witty rejoinder? Click on the link above, or buy his excellent book here. PS, David also authored The Rock Snob's Dictionary: An Essential Lexicon of Rockological Knowledge which, as a formerly aspiring Rock Snob, I love. I say formerly aspiring not because I achieved Rock Snob Nirvana (get it?) but because I just gave the hell up. I was sick of being outgunned by the emaciated nerds who run every record shop in the universe. Now I just bow down, offer alms and humor them while I plunder their superious knowledge to aid me in my shopping.

The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan Night at KGB Bar: Anatomy of a Disaster

This is the scene: My girlfriend and I walk over to KGB Bar to attend a forum featuring Ben Hedin author, Bob Levinson scholar, Mary Lee Kortes of Mary Lee's Corvette, Robert Polito scholar, David Remnick, New Yorker editor and Alex Ross, New Yorker music critic. They are there, we've read, to discuss the new Bob Dylan album, "as well as his place in American culture and myth."If I were David Remnick, I would never participate in a forum like this ever again. By the end of the abbreviated discussion, it was pretty clear that the night had been a failure and the "experts" for whatever reason, were unprepared or unable to discuss Dylan or the album in any meaningful way.

"People want to find a 'meaning' in everything and everyone. That's the disease of our age, an age that is anything but practical but believes itself to be more practical than any other age."
Pablo Picasso

In the tomato sauce colored bar, we were packed like sardines. After all, this night got alot of press and the panelists were certainly, on paper, qualified to be there. It's not often the Editor in Chief of The New Yorker makes a free roundtable appearance in a forum not directly related to his writing or magazine efforts. The panel was assembled by Bob Dylan anthology editor Ben Hedin. We're in good shape, no? No. By the end of the night, all we had, dear readers, was a mouthful of their titles to swallow, as the panelists, with small exceptions, gave us nothing else worth appreciating, yet plenty of hot air.

Apparently Hedin, who put this night together, did not bother to create an agenda or give any of the panel any sort of prompts or ideas on which they might have prepared themselves for discussions. After showing a movie (no introduction, no explanation of its point), they sat down, introduced themselves, and starting talking in obnoxious, overly reverential and superficial soundbites, exactly the sort of bullshit that makes talking about Dylan in any sort of worthwhile manner so difficult and usually worthless.

If assembling a half-dozen Dylan experts to analyze him was the sole point of the evening, the panel needed to find an intelligent, unpretentious way to explain and parse the effect that he's had on music and society. It's profound. It's worth talking about. Yet it's not something easily discussed, because it's wrapped up in a cult of personality problem. Talking about Dylan almost invariably sounds like "talking about Jesus." Discussions are full of circular logic, ad hominem arguments, and tautologies. Take, for instance, the bizarre ramblings of guys like AJ Weberman, who at various points cursed at Remnick, told the panel they knew nothing about Dylan, hypothesized every word in Dylan's lyrics really stands for another, secret word, and went on to illustrate his hypothesis by telling the assembled that Bob Dylan was out to get him for once throwing a birthday party on Dylan's front lawn, forcing Dylan to move. Whatever drugs Mr. Weberman has been on, it's obvious he's done far too many of them for far too long. And yet this voice carried above all others on the panel.

One of the writing professors turned into the A/V guy and almost got into a fight with the bartender (who seemed to be content in opening bottles and chuckling at our collective obnoxiousness) while attempting to cue up a few tracks for the crowd to listen to. Mitch Blank, the music archivist, brought along an old Bing Crosby track to compare to Dylan's new CD, but the explanation and logistics of comparing the two tracks were completely ignored, so the crowd instead sat in silence as the writing professor fumbled with the sound system. Then we listened to the wrong track and the bartender muttered to himself about 'fucking jerks who are trying to sound important.' 

If one person on the panel avoided fitting that description, it was David Remnick. His opening statement was a personal story of growing up in Jersey listening to Dylan on WNEW, which, when I was in high school, was still playing Dylan. (Oh how I miss the old 102.7.) Remnick tried to steer the discussion towards something meaningful: the personal impact of music on the listener. No one needs to hear, as other panelists decided to say, that Dylan is a force in music, a, truly great musician, a seminal artist, etc, ad nauseam. It's obvious we would not all be packed into a bar, collectively sucking in our stomachs, to talk about him if that were not the case. Tell us, panelists, what Dylan means to you. Or talk about these three topics, which I've bracketed to indicate they aren't part of the review but rather my own thoughts.

Tell us why Dylan named an album full of old timey arrangements "Modern Times." It seemed lost on everyone that maybe Modern Times referred not to our times, but the times of literary modernity, of Woolf and Eliot (and thankfully Remnick mentioned Eliot at one point, but no one parried with him to expound on why.) No one seemed to think it ironic and maybe a joke that "Modern Times" is a CD full of the antithesis of the bleak, surrealistic movements of art and literature and music from the period that Dylan is sampling here (the 20s-40s, some say 50s). It's CD of backroom populist numbers, no jazz or soaring orchestral arrangements. What's modern about these old sounds? 

From there, what about the musical omnivore Dylan has become? He rode in on folk, turned electric, went through the whole loop of guitar and now organ driven music, and is now mining the past, relentlessly looking to discover what he might've missed the first time around. It's amazing. Did anyone think, when listening to Blonde on Blonde in the 60s, that Dylan might ever put out anything that sounds like this?

How about the Jonathan Lethem article in Rolling Stone, the one where Dylan says the last twenty years of music are shit? How about how Springsteen and Pete Seeger might factor into that equation? How about Louis Menad's writeup on a new compedium of Dylan interviews in The New Yorker? How about something, damnit, other than self-importance and reputation standing in the place of thoughtful discussion?

The panel conversation ended 45 minutes early, (thankfully) because everyone on stage had run out of things to say. A bizarre final comment by Mary Lee Kortes had something to do with rape or women in rock or something, I can't even recall anymore because at that point the wasted opportunity of the evening had really draped over the entire room. No one was into it. As Hedin abandoned ship, everyone mingled, except Remnick, who understandably tried to get the hell out there as fast as he could. I should note I was expecting to see a Town Car idling outside, but didn't. Does he take the subway? 

The problem, in the end, was that this was treated as a lark by Hedin and most of the panelists. It's very easy, I admit, to sit at my laptop and criticize a free program from a remove. But just because it was free doesn't mean one shouldn't get some satisfaction from it. Just because it's free doesn't mean it's not worth doing a good job for. I write for free every day, and I try my best to make it substantive. The underlying problem was that Hedin and his panel really had no reason to do a good job. Quite frankly, I'd rather have seen 6 record store clerks up there.

Addenda: Beers were $5 and there were no bar snacks. Someone's knee was in my back for most the night, and crazy AJ Weberman was directly behind whoever owns that knee. The projector screen had a crinkle in it, so the anonymous Dylan movie we watched looked even artsier thanks to the rip and shadows. A couple of the panelists looked like mobsters. Hedin looked like he was trying really hard, but he was much younger than every other panelist and as such seemed like the wrong person to be in charge.

Three Great Bands, Three Great Black Cat Shows: Denali, The Shins, Frank Black

This is my first music post. A quick note about it. I like to write about music, but I don’t plan to cover it obsessively. From time to time, I’m going to write about bands I like, new bands I’ve discovered, and music I think you (every single one of you) should check out. This will probably be the most subjective part of my site, but so be it. I like what I like. I hope you enjoy these posts.

I know I’m a little late to the party on this one, but after reading: brooklynvegan: The Shins played McCarren Park Pool in Brooklyn, I had to jot down my remembrance of seeing their show in Washington, DC at the Black Cat, oh, maybe two years ago? I think it was before all the Garden State hype. They played a damn good show, and it’s too bad McCarren didn’t go as well.
The Black Cat, my home club for 8 years of my Washington based existence, has horrible acoustics, and is full of people who chatter endlessly. I’ve seen more than one band with frustrated looks on their faces after a night at the cat.

There are only three shows I remember being absolutely mesmerized with out of the dozens upon dozens I saw.

  1. P7300516.jpgDenali: Their first show was in the backroom, so it doesn’t count for acoustics, but it was a hot-ass August night, sweat dripping down my legs, I could barely see, and it was amazing. Maura Davis, the lead singer, was classically trained to sing opera..but decided instead to ROCK OUT and form a band. She joined her bro, who played in Engine Down, and grabbed a few other people to put an indie-industrial dirty sound behind her haunting vocals. Denali was to play many more shows at the Black Cat before they ultimately broke up, but the first was.. it gives me shivers. Maura is apparently in a new band, ambulette, which I look forward to hearing.
  2. Frank Black & The Catholics: Before there were any rumblings of the Pixies reuniting, FB had a pretty good thing going. They had one very tight album, and a few decent ones. I had tickets to see them the year before this show (maybe 2002?) but their van and equipment got stolen. It took them a whole year to get back, but it was worth it. They were really tight. Which leads me to…

  3. The Shins: Before Garden State, the Shins were just a band from New Mexico. And since one of my roommates was from New Mexico, I had heard alot about them. At a sold out show, their sound was extremely tight– they hit all their cues, and the PA was the best I’d ever heard it. I later found out that they were staying with my friend’s sometime booty-call, another girl from New Mexico. They were on the outs at the time, otherwise I’m sure I would’ve had the chance to hang with the boys from Albuquerque.

I was sorry to read the reviews on Brookln Vegan. Although The Shins are victims of their own success, they are a good enough band to be able to build on their sound, once the backlash dies down. The McCarren pool incident sounds like an aberration to me. Bad sound guy, maybe some speakers blew, or they didn’t have a proper sound-check. I haven’t followed whether the sound quality at the other McCarren shows have been any good. Sadly, I haven’t made it out there. The free shows didn’t appeal enough to make the trek, and the $$$$$$ shows were too much damn $$$$, not to mention I’d already seen almost every band.